Apartment Living – You can’t make this shit up


This is a grab bag, but all things that really happened in our apartment complex.

  1. One day, pulling into the parking lot, a lady was standing in the middle of the driveway. Naturally, we stopped to avoid hitting her, but she just stood there. Apparently, she dropped a bag of McDonalds yum-yums, and was yelling at her friend to come pick it up. Instead of picking it up, she kicked it to the side instead of inconveniencing herself to bend down to pick it up.
  2. Apparently, if you have a motorcycle, you can park it in the walkway. No really, it is cool to just leave it in the middle of the complex.
  3. The rules are crystal clear, you are not to wash your car or do any maintenance on it. Of course, this is the most broken rule out there. The neighbor did a full on detail of their POS Chevy crossover SUV. Of course they left it where the damn birds roost, so it looked like the avian navy used it for gunnery practice about 8 minutes after the dude was finished waxing it.
  4. Walking the dogs in the morning is interesting. One douchenozzle just lets his two chihuahua’s out to roam, piss and shit. He literally opens the door, lets them out, and the closes the door. It bothers me enough that he doesn’t pick up their stools, but far worse is having the pair of these yappers barking at my greyhounds.
  5. Hey, I get it, life is depressing here, especially if this is as good as it gets. I think I would go insane if I knew I wasn’t going to be able to escape. But some people escape with heavy pot smoking. One unit, across the walkway from the main office (like 15 feet), has someone who bakes at 6:00AM. Walking the boys through a huge cloud of pot smoke is enjoyable.
  6. The recycling dumpster, you know, the one that says NOT FOR TRASH. Yeah, that one. You really can just toss trash in it. Nobody cares. So they get filled with sacks of trash. I guess I shouldn’t complain, because …
  7. … the trash dumpsters are so far away, that it is cool to just leave your trash bags in the walkways. Really, nobody minds the decaying food waste, the used diapers, the mountains of moldy cigarette butts that will fall ont he ground when the plastic breaks. Or a dog opens it up. Oh yeah …
  8. … it is totally cool to let your dog walk off lead. Everybody does it, so what the hell. Especially since they lifted the 25# limit on dogs here, but there some breed restrictions, that means no …
  9. … Pit Bulls. Yeah, they really didn’t mean that in the lease, so it is cool to just move them in after you move in. Nobody can tell that it is a Pit Bull. It is also totally okay that it lunges at every other dog in the complex, and you are barely able hold onto the leash. (note, I know a lot of pit bulls, and pit mixes who are the sweetest, most lovable dogs. These are not those dogs. These owners need their heads examined.)

Yeah, it is good to be preparing to move.

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By geoffand

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March 2015

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